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little victories won creeping around your hand
now I have no room for my obsession
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8th-Dec-2009 11:43 pm - justkillmenow
Yeah, this really would be the perfect time to die. Then, I would not have to deal with the 7-page English paper and 10-page research paper that I have due at the end of this week. Not to mention that I could skip out on finals, and I am pretty sure that is an awesome idea. I feel like something that Mitya and Josephine dragged in, and I think that by the time I am done with all of it I will feel significantly worse. Right now I should be trying to work on either of aforementioned essays, but I am too busy feeling overwhelmed and annoyed with the pile of work that is my life. This inundation of work also sucks because it means that I have not talked to basically anyone in a long time. I can't remember when I last AIMed any of my friends, and I only recently remembered to call my mom. On a better--and less school-related--note, I had a dream (I think it was the night before last) in which I was in the shower with Joshua from The Horrors. This sounds way more awkward than it really was. I was simply standing with him and aware of it, and, as far as I could tell, we were both fully clothed...and the shower curtain was open. I have no idea what we were doing other than making a spectacular mess. It was weird because I was watching the water soak his hair and face when I noticed that the parts of his hair that should have been bleached were red, and I briefly wondered whether we were bathing in blood or something. Then I realized that the water was clear, so I was just being crazy. I have no idea why I dream about The Horrors so much. It is sort of embarrassing. I haven't even been overdosing on their music lately, so I don't know why I dreamed about Joshie. Anyway, also related to this in a very convoluted way is the fact that I might spend next year abroad in England. Yeah...I really should get on those essays...Guh.
13th-Nov-2009 09:43 pm - fridaythethirteenthyay!
I have to post. It is Friday the 13th. I have no choice. Anyway, I can't say that I have been unlucky (or any more so that usual), but it has definitely been a long day...or days. I have stayed up for pretty much two days straight because of an essay. The sad thing is that said essay is still absolutely awful because I am way too easily distracted. So, while I am not yet delirious, I am guessing that the hallucinations are on their way. My English discussion was pretty exciting today--not because of the actual people (my discussion section is full of dunderheads)--but because there was a crazy moment when the projector screen starting moving on its own. Hope and I speculated that it was somehow because of the creepy tech guy that was in the room before class started. He looked like a freaking serial killer--and not the hot Zachary Quinto kind. Speaking of Quinto OMGSTISCOMINGOUTNEXTWEEK!!! So excited!!! The sad thing is that I have a quiz in my stats class the day after it comes out, so I may not be able to watch it like 6 times in a row. I will have to postpone that to the next day I guess. I got seasons two and three of TOS in the mail today, which is pretty exciting. Still no season one, though I assume that it is on its way considering the fact that I ordered it before the others. God, I need coffee. I have gummi worms, but I could really use the pick-me-up. Haha, I am surprised that I haven't had a heart attack or something from having so much coffee (stayed up for two days, remember?). I did feel dizzy this morning...anyway! I think I have run out of interesting things to rant about but yay me for posting.
31st-Oct-2009 11:17 pm - All Hallow's
Basically the only reason why I want to post is because it's Halloween (my favorite holiday).  Lynsey is visiting for the weekend, and we dressed as Kirk and Spock.  Oh yeah, we went there.  I was Spock (cheesy pointed ears and all).  It was extra silly because my costume was kid-sized and had arms that were too short.  We went to the Exploratorium, which is the San Francisco kids' science museum.  It was dorkily exciting because we got to see bats, play with electricity (I think that I might generate more of an electrical current than most humans), and do other science-y things. I <3 science.  As of right now, I am watching Heroes (again).  Therefore, I will end this post in order to devote all of my attention to Sylar being crazy and torturing people.
I had two vivid dreams last night, and I decided that I should probably write them down before I forget.  The first involved my apartment only it wasn't really my apartment.  You know how sometimes you have dreams about things, and you intuitively know that you are in a certain place or with a certain person even though the real version of said person or place is much different?  I used to have dreams involving my parents that were like that.  Anyway, I was in my apartment, but it was more like a small log cabin.  Apparently, I had forgotten to lock the door (it was a really beat up wooden-framed screen door), and some strange man walked straight in and said he was going to rob us (me and my roommate).  He proceeded to reassure us, however, that he only wanted certain things and that we should bring them to him.  I started to do this when I saw that there were other people coming to the door.  I ran over to lock it and then attempted to brace against it so that they wouldn't get in.  They were taunting me in a very calm way about the fact that they wanted to murder us.  I feel like they looked sort of like pirates.  I can't really remember what happened after that.  Figures.  Is it weird to say that I didn't really feel like it was a nightmare even though it involved people coming to kill me?
The second part of the dream was just odd.  From what I remember I was going on a class field trip with Brobeck as the supervisor.  My dreams must hate me.  I even dreamed of the tedious bus ride.  We ended up at this field (don't know where), and we were supposed to run around it (don't know why).  A large number of people complained about it though, so Brobeck finally gave up.  I decided to run anyway (what is wrong with me?), and I think that other things might have happened/I talked to people but it gets sort of fuzzy there.  I do remember, however, that afterward we had someone speak to us about the field.  There were a whole bunch of crazy ghost stories behind it even though it just looked like an ordinary field.  The really hilarious thing was that the spokesperson was Zachary Quinto.  I am pretty sure that this is a sign that I have been watching too much Heroes recently.
I've had stranger dreams like one I had a couple years ago involving sprinklers, an all-night pink and yellow ice cream parlor, and me in a frilly french maid uniform, but I thought that these were worth writing down.  Mostly because I dreamed that Zachary Quinto was telling me ghost stories.  Ehehe.
22nd-Oct-2009 05:53 pm - I Am Unworthy
No, really, I am.  sumerechnyi was nice enough to revamp my entire layout.  Isn't it amazing?  I bow down to her absolute genius and lj prowess.  It is so spiffy that it inspired me to post something.  I even looked over some old posts and fixed random spelling mistakes that I hadn't caught the first or second time around.  I am so OCD.  Anyway, reading over my posts again made me realize that I sound like a creeper, which is a bit depressing but also explains a lot. Ehehe.  And to add to my creepiness I now have the Horrors everywhere!  Yay!  I love the picture in my layout because it is so candid, and the "Little Victories' quote is a wonderful touch.  I am so obsessed with my layout now that I can't help but gush about it.  I think that it is pretty much the highlight of my day (not that it had much competition considering all I did was wake up early and sit in my Statistics class then write a rather mediocre essay for my English discussion tomorrow).  Of course, just because my life is boring it doesn't mean that the layout is any less awesome.  Thank you, Lynsey!  I will endeavor to do your efforts justice by posting more often (even though it might bring about the end of the world...or something).
14th-Oct-2009 07:15 pm - On Being 'A Horrible Person'
Today I got my English essay back.  I received an 'A.'  I will agree that this is a good thing, and I would have been dissatisfied with anything less.  At the same time, I recognize that this makes me A Horrible Person.  Why, you ask?  I would have been disappointed had I not received an 'A' when I wrote the majority of the paper  a. while having not slept for about 2 days and b. while high or otherwise made insane by the excitement of The Horrors concert.  What makes me A Horrible Person is that I expected to get an 'A' on a paper at UC Berkeley when I wrote it under the influence (seeing The Horrors is pretty much the equivalent of tripping).  I know that there are probably students who spent a lot of time and effort on their papers and received lower grades, and I feel sort of bad about that.  At the same time, I am pretty happy even if it makes me a spoiled, awful person.  Perhaps seeing The Horrors gave me temporary superpowers.
I am also A Horrible Person because I have been spending too much money.  It makes me think of Wordsworth: "getting and spending we lay waste our powers," which then makes me feel like a dork on top of feeling like A Horrible Person.  Some of it has been necessary, like a new black coat to replace the one that I killed and a new pair of boots (also killed; ended up wearing them in the rain and getting my feet soaked).  I probably could have gone without the second pair of boots, the leather gloves, the tights (I have this disease where I always have to be buying tights with odd patterns), and the cape.  The problem is that they are all amazing, and I have a weakness for quirky clothing.  The boots are patent leather beatle boots, the leather gloves are elbow-length (I have been meaning to get some like them), and the cape is vintage (60s) and made of black velvet with a black-and-white striped lining.  See?  I am A Horrible Person.  I also plan to spend more money in the near future on tattoos.  As of this moment, I plan to get a stylized jellyfish on my forearm and a quote from Hamlet (possibly somewhere on my shoulder).  My dorkiness knows no bounds.
On a random tangent, I am now definitely going to see Eddie Izzard in January.
P.S. I posted something.  It must be the apocalypse.
Right now, life is looking pretty good despite the fact that I can't have slept more than two hours in the last two days, I am running off of caffeine and in-and-out, and I have an English essay due on Jonathan Edwards.  I have just seen the Horrors live at the El Rey in Los Angeles, and they were HEADLINING.  Perhaps this last fact is not so completely inconceivable if you are someone other than me, but I tend to make the annoying habit of loving bands that only play opening sets.  Point in case, the last time I saw the Horrors they were opening for the Kills.  They played a pretty long set, but they were certainly not the main attraction.  This time they were and the fact that they played at the El Rey made it even more epic.  The El Rey is one of my favorite venues, as it is intimate even for a club setting.
We arrived early, but we didn't have to wait too long outside.  Some crazy, drug-fried, middle-aged hipster was hanging around smoking pot and just generally being an idiot.  I can't say I enjoyed it, but a cute blond guy in a striped shirt standing in front of us offered some mints.  It made me happy because I am dorky and attractive guys who share my taste in music don't usually talk to me (as far as I am aware).  After having my new green highlighter confiscated (God knows what trouble I would have gotten into with that), we proceeded to the merch table despite our lack of monetary funds.  The girl working there was friendly and had a British accent that made her even more amazing.  After bemoaning our inability to buy anything and the conspicuous lack of awesome Horrors' scarves, we proceeded to the stage.
From then until the opening band' set, it was mostly claustrophobia, awkwardness, and waiting.  One highlight, however, was the discovery of a Faris lookalike who I deemed Faris 2.0.  He had Faris' hair, nose, and general fashion sense, but he was about a foot shorter.  I had difficulty deciding whether I found him creepy or attractive, though creepy ended up overbalancing physical appeal--especially later when I realized that many of the quirks that make Faris attractive to me, such as the expressiveness of his eyes, were absent in his double.
The opening band for the Horrors, the Japanese Motors, played a thankfully rather short set.  I hate to be mean to opening bands because I have been in so many situations in which I attended the concert solely for one, but the best thing I can say about the Japanese Motors is that they were pleasantly mediocre when compared to my original impression of them as an insipid surf-pop band in the tradition of Vampire Weekend but less intelligent and more Southern California (as aptly put by Lynsey).  Oh, I was also rather amused by the frontman's torn teddy bear sleep shirt, which I found to be the highlight of the performance.
More awkward waiting ensued after that.  Just I was beginning to feel like I might either start elbowing all the people closing in on me or pass out from too much human contact and too little air circulation, the Horrors saved the day.  There was the requisite fog created by a smoke machine when they came on, which I find fitting.
The first thing that I must say about Horrors' concerts is that they are like every cliche you have ever heard about live music.  Only better.  It is like feeling the gravitational pull of a star or sticking your finger in an outlet.  The music is so tense and intense like a bow pulled taut enough to reach breaking point.  I think I should quit the cheese though because it honestly cannot do it justice.  All of them were as usual dressed impeccably.  My dress sort of matched Faris' white-collared black shirt, which made me happy.  I also loved Rhys' boyish attire.
The last time I saw the Horrors, I felt like I paid too much attention to Faris.  Faris is rather difficult to ignore as the vocalist and the tallest member of the band.  I promised myself that it would be different this time, however, and I would learn to be more appreciative of the entire band.  I am quite glad that I did.  First of all, Joshua is a god of a guitar player.  His distortions and fingering are jaw-dropping.  He also switched guitars about 5 times throughout the set and was constantly messing with various equipment.  I am pretty sure he is a musical genius.  I have also decided that I like his dance/shuffle and the way he paces like a caged animal.  Rhys was also pretty interesting to watch.  He is very animated and likes to sort of bounce and gyrate at the same time.  It sounds odd, but the effect is quite sexy.  He does this dance whether playing bass or synthesizer.  Like Josh, his fingering is also impressively articulate.  Tom provided a sharp contrast to Rhys in his movements.  He is very reserved, controlled, and efficient.  His precision (and to a certain extent his haircut) reminds me of Spock, which amuses me to no end.  Joe seems very sincere about his playing--I can't think of any other way to put it.  Though he put a lot of concentration into his drumming, he also usually looked like he was having a good time.
I was trying so hard to figure out what they were all doing and understand each band member's style of playing that Lynsey mention my expression was sort of frown-like (I tend to frown slightly when I am thinking ^^;).  I am sure that all the roadies behind the scenes, if they could see me, thought I was a very odd little duck.
The concert overall was epic, and I cannot believe that they played the entirety of Primary Colours plus "Sheena Is a Parasite," "Gloves," and "Count in Fives."  I wish they had played songs that weren't singles from Strange House, but beggars can't be choosers.  Their cover of the Suicide song "Ghost Rider" made me happy too, though I didn't know what it was when I heard it.  I liked the sibilant whispering Faris was doing in the beginning.
The only things that I did not really enjoy once the music started were the moshing and some girl's off-key singing/shouting.  The former made me sad because I don't like people touching me or invading my personal space let alone shoving me, and the latter depressed me because I could hardly hear Faris over her godawfulness.  It was sort of exciting that Faris almost threw some jackass who jumped onstage on Lynsey and me, but he eventually ended up to our right and crowd-surfed away from us.  By exciting of course I mean in a life threatening way that also involved Faris.
I have spent most of my time between then and now replaying the concert either in my head or in Lynsey's company.  If I had it my way, I would follow them from concert to concert and not because I want to be a creepy groupie but just because I want the privilege of seeing them live on a regular basis.  And really, I think I could keep blabbing about this until even redundancy just says "fuck" and leaves.  So I will stop now.  Promise.
8th-Sep-2008 09:39 pm - Just Me Being Amused With Myself
Just wanted to add the extra info because I think it's hilarious. They definitely hit the nail on the head with the whole "work of contrasts."
Sensual, rebellious, and intuitive, the Badass Uke can truly be a work of contrasts - an innocent appearance clothed in dark clothing, and a shy smile with eyes that suggest a naughty, darker nature. They are at once easy and hard to approach, as their energy draws people to them, while their intensity and distrust pushes people away... for maybe more than any other personality, the Badass Uke hides away deep in a fantasy world of their own creation, letting few, if any, in. Searching for the one person able to understand their need for something more, someone to protect them and share that mysterious world with them, the Badass Uke can seem lost and wandering, their loneliness sometimes reflecting an inner anger - as they cannot be content until they have been found and claimed, sensually and emotionally.

The Badass Uke personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Sky

Chinese Zodiac: Dog

Color: Black

Fruit: Blackberries

Dessert: Hot Fudge Sundae

Theme Song: Kalavinka by Buck Tick
I worked the graveyard shift at work last night. It was good because a. I prefer working later; b. I got to read Lovecraft; and c. a gay guy called me beautiful. The only thing that was annoying was that someone prank called pretending to be Michael Jackson. That was a waste of my time.
Other than that, I have started Sweetheart! Yay! Love it so far. I just need to find time to finish it.
Oh, and on Lynsey's request I took this quiz. The results really don't surprise me.

You are a Badass Uke!

Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. Despite your sometimes flaming appearance, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges. It takes a seme with enough intensity to challenge you and keep you satisfied, and your perfect match, the Don't Fuck With Me Seme, knows that all that naughty teasing just means you want the punishment.

Most compatible with: Don't Fuck With Me Seme, Chibi Seme

Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Romantic Seme

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.
Yep, I'm done for now. I want hot chocolate...mmm...
P.S. I don't think that we're least compatible. I just think that sparks...er, or blood...would fly. Sounds good to me. ^^

The hotel finally contacted me. They woke me up too early, and I tripped over one of my pillows trying to get to my cell phone but that's okay. At least I have a job now! God, I feel so much better. Anyway, so this hotel is historical apparently. The only thing that I really know about its history is that it was constructed by Walter Steilberg in 1958 in an arts and crafts style. It is insanely green, as in "good for the environment." They imported these bamboo towels from Japan that are made using wind turbine energy and an earth-friendly chemical that breaks down the bamboo. I'm not kidding. Though it is a bit ridiculous, the bamboo towels are a lot softer than the scratchy cotton ones. Then again, they should be at $50 per large towel. That and some of cleaners they are switching to are environmentally friendly enough that you could "probably drink them without anything happening." Yes, the guy actually told me to swallow the toilet bowl cleaner he pulled out to show me. To match their nice Japanese bamboo towels, they have ordered some new sheets, but it may take several months for them to arrive. You know, because they have to wait until you order them to pick the cotton. These things take time.
Today was also special because my roommate and I finally used the kitchen together. We hadn't had a chance to cook because we were busy, but we finally found some time. I christened the kitchen by slicing through my finger when dicing tomatoes. I then had to suck on said finger to prevent blood from spurting all over the tomatoes and cutting board. My poor, poor roommate. Here she thought she would actually get help in the kitchen. Stupid dull knife. So now my typing is even more horrendous than normal. It figures considering I have to work tomorrow and about 95.67% of the job involves typing. Quickly. Whilst doing four other things. It will be an interesting experience.
I chose my Hirako icon because I felt how he looks when answering the phone.
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